Objection Your Honor

It was my first time going to an Islamic Court, or even a court in general. I found it to be entertaining especially because I had a wonderful diarrhea this morning from food poisoning. I bet you had never heard anyone describing diarrhea as wonderful before. LOL.

At the entrance of the court, there were policemen, who enjoyed yelling at me for not covering all my hair. Boo like I care. I was there as a witness, so my mom could get a certificate(Sijil Faraid) that divides my dad's properties among her and my siblings. Well I found out the real purpose of us going there after the hearing. Which made the story even more fun.

I went into the court room, sat in the witness stand. "I, Syazrah bla bla bla bla will tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help me god". Everything was spoken in Malay which made it so awkward.

Judge: Do you know why your mom is here today?
Me: To get a letter that gives her power over my dad's property.
(My mom made a funny face which told me that that was the wrong answer)

In my mind I was going oh sh*t, why are we here?
Me: Mmmmmmm. Mmmmm

Still trying to remember if my mom had told me why we were there. I knew the general purpose but not the exact goal of us being there. I felt like the whole court room was waiting for my answer.

Me: We're here to divide what my dad left behind.

CORRECTO!! I was thinking in English and had to translate this into formal Malay. Came out sounding so dumb.

Judge: Did your dad and his wife from the first marriage got a divorce?

He used a technical term that was in Malay. It was "bercerai hidup" which means getting a divorce while both parties are still alive instead of being divorced by death. Whoaa, didn't know that dying was considered a divorce at all. Of course I found this out after the hearing.

Me: What does "bercerai hidup" mean???

*Judge looked like he was gonna slap me*

Tee hee. Stupid court and stupid judge. I present to you, my stupid answers. That's what you get for making me wait more than an hour.